ég er john seven

There is only a brief window of time in musical history that anything sounding like this could even happen. Sure enough, this album from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission, apparently the finest new wave Tennessee had to offer, landed smack dab in the middle of that range - 1980. Bonus - it comes with a poster! Many of the songs address the nightmare of nuclear disaster, as well as science fictiony other stuff, along with herky-jerkiness and long, guitar geek solos. I’ve owned the thing for 25 years and I’ve never been able to make it through the whole thing …

Somehow - luck? grace? cunning? - I avoided the whole Slim Goodbody thing when I was a kid. This record is from 1977 and claims that John Burstein started doing the Slim Goodbody thing in 1974, so I was the total target age, I think, but I never even heard of him till the 1980s, probably when I was college age. Thank goodness for small favors. If you are in the mood for a disco song about skin warbled by some guy with bad hair and an unusual body suit, then you are in luck. My only concern is whether I file this record under S or G.

To all those fearing militant Muslims, have no fear, Jesus has an army! And much like an African warlord, he enlists little children for it! Phew. We’re all safe. As explain on the back of the record in the song notes, “a chorus of over eighty voices on this record help translate to the child the military aspects of the Sacrament … don’t be surprised if you find the children marching around the room to this tune.”

That’s what missing from today’s spirituality - military style drilling!

This record hails from 1956. It has a number of endorsements on back, including one form Mrs. J. Kennedy of West Englewood, NJ, who says, “It’s about time I have a good record to let my children listen to.” She goes on to claim that they have played the Ten Commandments song until it is worn out. No word on whether she caught them marching in circles.

You can read all about Carmen Sevilla here, but prior to this record, I had never heard of her. And I have never see King Of Kings. I found this 1965 record in a pile of Spanish 7 inch EPs in an antique store in Brattleboro, VT, and picked it up because I loved the cover. I figured it would be some form of pop music, so was surprised to find such a Latin-flavored slice of bravado, and doesn’t she have the pipes to pull it off?

Just a little kick ass polka to liven up your Friday. 

More to the point: “A Youth Musical by David T. Clydesdale” that is “Presented by Life Unlimited II” and “Featuring Patti Loewens.” All songs were co-written with something called “Singspiration,” which sounds painful. Get ready to the whitest gospel disco of 1978.

No, it’s not a gospel tribute to Maryland. I had to check my Bible references with this one - it’s a healing pool in the Gospel of John. My favorite thing about this song is how, half-way through, it starts to sound like St. James Infirmary. 

Words you never want to hear: “This record appears to be the soundtrack from a Canadian Christian TV show from the 1980s featuring puppets.” Specifically, 1984. And there seems to be no overt Christian messages on the album - the songs are mostly about being nice and understanding other people and working as a team and stuff like that. It is the work of Morningstar Ministries, though. 

If you google “Whimblies” it’s going to default to “Wumblies,” which is a good indication how far down the pop culture spectrum these folks are. Other than the website of the creators of this show, who now appear to be missionaries, though not to a land of puppets, I can’t find any evidence of what in the world this was.

I haven’t posted any Hawaiian music in awhile because I have been struggling to find something different. This album by The Hawaiians is packed with all the usual suspects - the war chant, Aloha Oe, etc. - but nestled in there is this little attempt at rockin’ that I find fun and delightful, if vaguely unstructured and wandering. My general feeling has been that a number of these Hawaiian records are just by studio musicians going through the motions, so it’s always nice to hear them having fun on occasion.

Finally some reliable information on being a Scorpio from a not only a “renowned” astrologer, but “the world’s most renowned astrologer.” Ever? Had enough of those rinky dink, nobody, fly-by-night astrologers? Sydney Omarr (rhymes with catarrh, I bet) has made a record - A RECORD - to create a permanence of authority that is ALWAYS THERE TO SERVE YOU. So grab your nearest Aries friend, Scorpios, and listen to Mr. Omarr explain your relationship to you. You’ll be the better for it, and you’ll thank Sydney Omarr for saving your friendship.

I’ll admit that I’m often disappointed by the Greek records I’ve bought, but this is a fun little track that took me by surprise. Apparently, this band went on forever and are now replaced by a next generation band.

Whenever confronted with the song, I wonder why Daydream was such an over-the-top hit in the 1960s. It’s a nice enough song as songs go, but, really? And then I wonder why popular songs these days aren’t as catchy or likable as Daydream. Then I go about my business. 

Jazz interpretations of rock hits are often horrible. Yeah, sure, there are some that work, but … this version of the Booker T song is pretty cool. With James on trumpet and Buddy Rich on drums, dating from 1965. 

I can’t find out any information on this album, not even the year it was released - though I’m guessing late ’60s or early ’70s - but this is a fine, fun, cool country gospel number recording in Hampton, VA. The Swordsmen’s phone number, on the back of the album, is 804-723-5231. Wonder if it’s still in service 40 years later … 

Talented though she is as an actress - and certainly one of the cutest women to ever exist - it’s always been my contention that any use of Shirley MacLaine’s singing voice was an ill-advised one. And I say that as someone who has seen her perform live. I should really have a t-shirt bragging that I survived that. This song, for a movie I have surprisingly never seen that seems to have something to do with brassieres, actually breaks that rule. Probably because she isn’t really singing.